Luann de Lesseps Claims Russell Simmons Groped Her In An Elevator

April 9, 2018 / Posted by:

The Ex-Countess and possible future ex-con Luann De Lesseps is spending whatever free time she has left giving interviews and relating tales from her super chic life. Here are two free pieces of advice I gleaned from Luann in a recent interview with The Daily Beast: Dusty pink jeans are perfect for spring and don’t get into an elevator with Russell Simmons.

Luann claims that “around three summers ago”, Russell’s little turtle paws reached out and grabbed her ass in an elevator at Soho Beach House in Miami.

“He grabbed my ass in an elevator, he was just a pig,” de Lesseps said. “I haven’t told anybody about that before. I was grossed out. I was like ‘How dare you.’ He invaded me, he took advantage of me, being who he is, thinking he is all ‘it,’ all everything. He thought he could just do that. I looked at him and said, ‘Don’t ever do that again.’”

I hope she also struck him with a satin glove. I think that brings the public allegations of sexual misconduct against Russell up to 17 now? Who can keep track. It seems like the more allegations that arise, the smugger Russell becomes. The Daily Beast reports that instead of addressing Luann’s allegation directly (maybe because it falls low on the Matt Damon Sexual Misconduct Scale) Russell’s people simply reissued a blanket denial of any wrongdoing, the highlight of which is him bragging about how good he is at taking lie detector tests.

Besides, he’s currently doing God’s work. Or Buddah’s work. Or I’m not really sure what path towards enlightenment he’s on these days but he leading the charge.

Don’t complain. Meditate listen and do his work.

A post shared by Russell Simmons (@unclerush) on

I guess the lesson here is if you’re looking for Russell to guide you toward spiritual enlightenment, be sure to take the stairs.


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