Mariah Carey Declares That Brunch Is Over And Linner Is It, Dahlings!

January 7, 2018 / Posted by:

Mariah Carey (did she finally get her hot tea?) is riding high on her redemptive NYE performance in Times Square. (“Redemptive” in this case meaning “doing a soundcheck prior to performing”.) She’s now free to go back to dispensing advice and defining the trends for all of her loving lambs out there. Mimi recently tweeted about a friend asking her to, ew, brunch. Check your wristwatch, Mimi’s friend, brunch time is over. It’s all about linner now!

Mimi tweeted that brunch is over and announced that linner is the new thing. She even coined a new hashtag celebrating lunch smashed with dinner – #Linner is the new brunch! But wait, the Elusive Chanteuse has a different definition of “linner” than the rest of us peons. Linner is “a late dinner” to her.

No one wants a withering passive-aggressive putdown from the unicorn fur-slathered Spanxstress on stage, but that’s not what “linner” means, right? Doesn’t it mean “lunch” and “dinner” combined? What’s this “late dinner” thing? It sounds like a Taco Bell marketing ploy.

Nevertheless, the lambs loved it. via People:

Carey’s tweet was praised by her fans, who quickly wrote off bunch and embraced “linner” — one even dubbing Carey the “queen of setting trends.”

And don’t even try it with that “but that’s not what linner means” bullshit!

“Listen, if Mariah Carey says linner is the new brunch, then we all call brunch linner now. The queen has spoken!” another fan said.

Well, they’re absolutely correct about Mimi setting the trends. We never would have been scantily clad and pushing ice cream carts onto the sets of live TV shows during a personality crisis or aerobicizing in high heels if it wasn’t for Mimi and her trending ways.

And look, the gays invented brunch (we pretty much invented everything except peanut butter) because none of us lazy queens wanted to get up early after a night of gay-carousing but still wanted overpriced Eggs Benedict. Gay HQ hasn’t given the ok on “linner” yet, Mimi, so settle your Spanx down.


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