Hot Slut Of The Day!
The fat raccoon who ate too much and got stuck in the sewer grate!
Pictured: that fat raccoon doing an impersonation of most of us not wanting to pull our over-stuffed bodies out of bed on a Monday morning and cursing every God imaginable.
On Thursday, the police in Zion, Illinois got a call about a big, angry ball of fur who got stuck in a sewer, and their first thought was probably, “What is John Travolta doing in town and why did he get stuck in a sewer? Did a Craigslist Casual Encounters ho play a dirty trick on him and told him to meet them there?” But when they got to the sewer, they found a BBAR (big beautiful angry) stuck in a sewer after overfilling his stomach with stolen food. The Zion Illinois Police Department wrote on Facebook about how they eventually rescued the poor chunky bitch:
It seems this little guy has been eating a little too well and got caught in the sewer grate. Animal Control Ofc. R. Knorr & Ofc. Vaughn were unable to remove him and had to request help from the real heroes over at the Zion Public Works Department. They were able to free him and our friend was no worse for wear. Check out the photos and see if Ofc. Vaughn is more scared of the raccoon than it is of him! All in good fun, nice save Ofc. Vaughn.
I’m surprised that Pennywise didn’t push that raccoon out of the sewer, because a pissed off raccoon is like a drunk, insecure trick at the bar who spots you throwing sexy eyes at their man. They will fuck you all the way up, even if you’re a killer clown. Pennywise is no match for a mad raccoon.
And I truly feel one with this raccoon.
That is exactly what I look like when my friends are trying to get me out of the house on a Saturday night and all I want to do is watch an Island Hunters marathon while eatin’. Oh, fat, stuck, sewer raccoon, you are us and we are you.
Pic: Facebook