Open Post: Hosted By The Teaser Trailer For “I, Tonya”

October 19, 2017 / Posted by:

Because the voting fingers of Oscar voters get a hard-on for gorgeous actresses who homely themselves up for a role, Margot Robbie has been getting Best Actress buzz (yes, I too hate myself for typing “Best Actress buzz”) for playing Oregon rose Tonya Harding in I, Tonya. And the first teaser trailer was released today. On a scale of YES!!!! to WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY??!, the trailer is a little closer to the former for me.

The Tonya Harding-approved I, Tonya comes out December 8, and it also stars Sebastian Stan as Tonya’s piece of trash husband Jeff Gilooly, Allison Janney as Tonya’s wreck of a shitty mom LaVona Harding and Caitlin Carver as Nancy Kerrigan, who is hardly in it. What sold me about this trailer is that it makes I, Tonya look like a cross between Drop Dead Gorgeous and To Die For, and I live for that kind of cinematic campiness. I also love Margot’s White Rain-dusted curl bang, and that shot of her putting out a lit cig with her skate. Now on to the bad… that accent.

I once had a one-night-fuck with a really verbal bearded dude who wore a flannel, so that pretty much makes me an expert in the Pacific Northwest accent. And in my expert opinion, Margot doesn’t sound like Tonya Harding. Margot only sounds like Tonya Harding if Tonya Harding tried to impersonate Margot’s Wolf of Wall Street accent. Margot’s accent in this trailer sounds more like Tommy Wiseau with a giant sore on his tongue.

Everybody’s probably going to fight about how good or bad Margot’s accent is, and the only way to settle it is to ask the real Tonya Harding to say “America” and see if she says it as, “Uh-meer-icka”

And if you can’t or don’t want to watch the trailer above, the only thing you really need to see is this Oscar-worthy still of Allison Janney (and a glamorous peroxide blossom in a Tonya Harding t-shirt that looks like an old Hanes tee with a white piece of paper glued to it).


I really hope that Allison Janney got to keep that glorious bowl cut wig and those glasses. Because if they ever make a George Clooney biopic, she needs to play Young George.


Pics: YouTube, ABC News

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