Miranda Kerr Really Likes Playing Sexy June Cleaver

September 8, 2017 / Posted by:

It might be Fashion Week in New York, but not for Miranda Kerr. In fact, you should be grateful she even showed up for your silly digital magazine’s fashion shoot, Net-a-Porter. Because People magazine says Miranda recently admitted during an interview with Net-a-Porter’s The Edit that she’s stepping back from modeling. And it’s all thanks to her GAZILLIONARE husband, Snapchat CEO Evan Spiegel.

Sadly, Miranda isn’t doing what I would do and claim that I must live my truth of sitting around, watching Oprah’s Masterclass and toking up all day because, well, I’m married to a billionaire. Nah, she’s stepping back because she wants to focus on her organic skincare line, Kora Organics. Miranda says:

“I’ve modeled for 20 years, it’s just not a priority anymore. Now, if an opportunity comes up, I think, ‘Is this in the best interest of my family?’ and ‘Will this interrupt Kora?’ If it passes through those two gates, and if the shoot’s in LA, then…”

Apologies to the Scranton fashion community; I guess you won’t be seeing Miranda anytime soon.

Miranda also reveals how her grandma is one sharp tack and taught her something none of us knew before:

“My grandma taught me that men are visual and you need to make a little effort.”

I would never have guessed a dude liked to see some perky boobies had you not brought it up! Miranda then goes on to talk about how she gets gussied up and lights candles and has a nice dinner and “slips into my feminine” while she empowers Evan to be “in his masculine.” Da fuq? Does that mean Miranda shimmies into a nightie, while Evan unbuttons his jeans, guzzles down a Colt 45, and spends the rest of the night burping away while watching SportsCenter?

People points out that Miranda said pretty much the same shit when she was married to Orlando Bloom, like that it was important to let the man be the Alpha while at home. If any of you dear readers hail from Scotland, you really should keep a watch on the countryside. Miranda sounds like she really wants to be that chick from Outlander and fall through the magical stones and wind up back in the Medieval times!

But if Miranda is putting in all the work to don her pearls and dinner dress to get a perfect supper ready for Ward, Beaver, and the other one, Evan better take care of dessert. And by dessert, I mean pour the port wine and offer up a nice helping of dick. Oh, and 10,000 shares of Snapchat. It’s whaaaat a girl waaaants!

Pic: Wenn.com

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