Adele May Never Ever Tour Again 

June 29, 2017 / Posted by:

When I went to see Adele, I was drunk on overpriced arena wine, but I still remember her saying that she probably wasn’t going to tour again. It’s actually amazing that I was able to hear Adele say that through the sound of thousands of women crying their tear ducts out as their ovaries combusted from hearing her sing live. But just in case nobody heard Adele announce that there’s a chance she may never go on tour again, she told her fans in an Instagram post that her third concert tour could be her last.

Adele’s current tour opened in Belfast on February 29, 2016 and will play its final show at Wembley in London on July 2. The last 4 shows of the tour are in London and she says she chose to close the tour in her hometown because she doesn’t know if she’ll ever go on the road again.

“So this is it. After 15 months on the road and 18 months of 25, we are at the end. We have taken this tour across UK+ Ireland, throughout Europe, all over America and I finally got to go to Australia and New Zealand too. Touring is a peculiar thing, it doesn’t suit me particularly well. I’m a real homebody and I get so much joy in the small things. Plus I’m dramatic and have a terrible history of touring. Until now that is! I’ve done 119 shows and these last 4 will take me up to 123, it has been hard out an absolute thrill and pleasure to have done. I only ever did this tour for you and to hopefully have an impact on you the way that some of my favourite artists have had on me live. And I wanted my final shows to be in London because I don’t know if I’ll ever tour again and so I want my last time to be at home. Thank you for coming, for all of your ridiculous love and kindness. I will remember all of this for the rest of my life. Love you. Goodnight for now”.

Okay, Adele did this all wrong. You’re not supposed to announce your final tour when your final tour is almost a wrap! What Adele should’ve done is called this tour The Farewell Tour and talked about how it’s her last, for real. And then in about 5 years when she spots an island she wants to buy, she should announce The “Okay, I Was Joking The Last Time, But This Is Really My Last Tour” World Tour. And then 5 years after that when she spots a giant yacht she wants to buy, she should announce The “I Swear, And I’m Not Crossing My Fingers Or Anything, This Is The Last One” World Tour. And 5 years after that, she should announce a Las Vegas residency and call it The “Bitch, Shut Up, This Is Technically Not A Tour” Show.

Did Adele not learning anything from Cher?


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