Hot Slut Of The Day!

April 23, 2017 / Posted by:

Jason Statham!

The Fart of the Furious is the #1 movie again this weekend and it’s really close to bringing in $1 billion worldwide, and that’s great for Jason Statham’s bank accounts and everything, but let’s remember the days when he wasn’t a multi-millionaire action star and was all about making HIGH ART!!!! Jason Statham’s career truly peaked in the 90s when he was an artsy video ho who gyrated out scalding hot moves that could make a rock bust a nut. My retinas got a boner the other day when a reader reminded me of Jason Statham’s days as a 90s music video star.

Jason’s pose game was next level as a bald-headed, hot metallic alien piece in Erasure’s 1994 video for Run To The Sun, but a year earlier, he gave his hottest and best performance as a lubed-up go-go dancer in The Shamen’s video for Comin’ On. The Shamen was an EDM/techno/whatever the hell you want to call it group from Scotland and they had several dance hits and semi-hits in the 90s including Comin’ On. The video for Comin’ On answered the question: If I freeze-dried shrooms, ground them into power, mixed that powder with the liquid in a lava lamp and then injected that concoction directly into my brain, what kind of hallucinations would I have? The video was like a Corey Feldman fever dream.

There’s a lot of foolery going on in this video, but the entire show is easily stolen by Jason Statham in a leopard-print Speedo. If there was a gay club in the Land of the Lost universe, Jason would be its most popular go-go boy. All of the gay cavemen would be stuffing wooden coins into his Speedo.

And I bet that when Jason is in his 1,000 square foot, two-story trailer on the set of his latest gigantic-budget action movie, he sits in his $10,000 massage chair and as assistants exfoliate his bald head with crushed diamonds, he thinks back to The Shamen video and says to no one in particular, “It was all downhill from there...”

Pic: YouTube

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