Madonna Knows How Donald Trump Won The Election

December 6, 2016 / Posted by:


It’s been almost a month since stale off-brand Cheez-It Donald Trump caused a rise in stomach ulcers by being elected the President of the United States, and everyone has a theory of how it happened. Madonna thinks she knows how President-elect Donald Trump happened. Are you a woman? According to Madonna, President Trump is partially your fault.

Madonna let everyone know last weekend that she hates Donald Trump as President and she said more about the election during an interview with her Swept Away co-star Elizabeth Banks for Billboard. Madonna isn’t having any of it. She’s specifically not having any of the women who rolled up to the voting booth and thought “You know what? I DO want a tantrum-throwing millionaire who fights people on Twitter as my President.

How did you feel about the outcome of the election?
It felt like someone died. It felt like a ­combination of the heartbreak and betrayal you feel when someone you love more than anything leaves you, and also a death. I feel that way every morning; I wake up and say, “Oh, wait, Donald Trump is still the president,” and it wasn’t a bad dream that I had. It feels like women betrayed us. The percentage of women who voted for Trump was insanely high.

Why do you think that is?
Women hate women. That’s what I think it is. Women’s nature is not to support other women. It’s really sad. Men protect each other, and women protect their men and children. Women turn inward and men are more external. A lot of it has do with jealousy and some sort of tribal inability to accept that one of their kind could lead a nation. Other people just didn’t bother to vote because they didn’t like either candidate, or they didn’t think Trump had a chance in the world. They took their hands off the wheel and then the car crashed.

Well, she’s not entirely wrong. But of course not all women hate women. Some women love women! Madonna of all people should know that there are women out there, women like, oh, I don’t know, Lady Gaga maybe, who love women so much they try to be those women. Even Madonna is an example of this! Madonna loves women so much that she’s willing to serve as a lifelong cautionary tale to other women of how far is too far when it comes to injecting things.

Here’s Madonna in Billboard looking like the host of a down and out hipster Eyes Wide Shut night.

Pics: Mert Alas and Marcus Piggott/Billboard

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