Anybody who watched Bravo’s Flipping Out last season knows that Jeff Lewis and his partner Gage Edward (or as Zoila, and now I, call him “Barbie Bitch”) were getting ready to add another human to their full house of neurotic madness. Jeff Lewis has always seemed as paternal as a male grizzly bear (male grizzly bears hate all children) to me, but he and Barbie Bitch seemed excited about raising a child together. And that child is now here. Last night, Jeff announced on Instagram that their surrogate gave birth to their first child, a girl. Sadly, Jeff and Barbie Bitch didn’t name their daughter Zoila Jenni (Z.J. for short).
I’m going to choose to believe that Jeff and Barbie Bitch named their daughter after Monroe Ficus from Too Close For Comfort and NOT after Marilyn. That is the only reason to name your child Monroe.
Some say that becoming a parent mellows you out and to those people, I say, you must not know any parents. Because nearly every parent I know is stressed out, worn out and screaming for Calgon to take them away. But maybe being a father will mellow Jeff out. If it doesn’t and Baby Monroe picks up on some of her daddy’s behavior, then I’m sure her first complete sentence will be, “Goddammit, Zoila, you messed up the lunch order AGAIN!”