Lady Gaga Is Back!

And as always, there’s two dudes saying everything you want to say with their faces…….

Lady Gaga queefed up her first solo single in three years last night, and when I first heard it, I had to double check to see if it was a cover. Because I could’ve sworn I heard it before during a montage scene in a straight-to-VHS movie about magicians from the late-80s. It also sounds like the opening theme song of a low-budget MacGyver knock-off that starred Greg Evigan and was canceled after 2 episodes.

Perfect Illusion was written and produced by Gaga, Mark Ronson, Kevin Parker of Tame Impala and BloodPop. (which yes, sounds like what a chick gets when she jacks off with a popsicle while on her period.) It sounds like so many things to me. I hear “a second-rate Stevie Nicks impersonator pinching her nose and doing a Count Chocula accent while singing a Hannah Montana B-side.” I also hear a touch of Kelly Osbourne’s cover of Papa Don’t Preach. (Here we go again!)

Some (the Little Monsters who’d worship it if it was nothing but a 3-minute loop of Gaga’s auto-tuned fart) love it and some hate it. It’s 80s-ish, so I don’t hate it. But I don’t luuuuuuuuuuuuh-aaaaahv it either. Okay, I hate it now, because it’s obviously stuck in my head.

And on a nice note (don’t get used to that), I do luuuuuuuh-aaaaaaav the “90s lot lizard wearing a crop top made by Reynolds Wrap” look that Lady Gaga worked in London today.

Pics: Wenn.com