Open Post: Hosted By The Sequined Glamour Of Suzanne Somers

June 3, 2016 / Posted by:

If you’re thinking that this stunningly elegant dress looks really familiar and you must’ve seen it on a red eye-shift hooker as she made her way home and you made your way to work in the morning time, you may be right. But you probably also saw it on the triple-Spanx’d body of the butterfly human hybrid known as Mimi who wore it to the NBC Upfronts in NYC last month. Beyonce has also worn that sequined tiger-striped Balmain hooker dress before. That dress is making the rounds and is turning out to be The Slut Dress’ more worldly, glamorous and sophisticated older cousin who used to be a high-end call girl but now works as a hostess at a club in Reno.

Suzanne Somers, my choice for our next Surgeon General, wore it while working the red carpet with her husband Alan Hamel at the Television Academy’s 70th Anniversary Gala in Los Angeles last night. As for who wore that mess better, I have to go with Chrissy Snow, because it has transformed her into Janice the Muppet’s drunk, crazy auntie who made everyone rush their kids out of the room at a family party when she drunkenly gave her husband a lap dance to a Def Leppard song.

Since that dress has been climbing up the ladder of stars by going from Beyonce to Mimi and onto the forever A-list jewel Suzanne Somers, I’m guessing it’ll keep going up and will soon be found on the body of La Toya Jackson or Angelyne. Keep reaching for those unreachable stars, Tiger Dress!

Pics:, Splash

Our commenting rules are pretty simple: Don't be racist or bigoted, or go way off topic when not in an Open Post. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).

alt="drupal analytics" >