Master gay baiter Nick Jonas is still out there working hard for that gay dollar like he’s a drag queen lip-synching to a Beyonce song 10 minutes before last call on the night before her rent is due. Nick was a guest editor for The Sun (via HuffPo) last week, and for the 56,789th time he was asked about whether his ass or mouth has had a special date with hard dick before. Now, sex scenes that aren’t porn usually don’t involve any dick in ass or dick in mouth action, but Nick Jonas thinks that because he dry humped and made out with a dude on his show Kingdom, he can’t technically say that he’s never been another guy before:
“On Kingdom I have a sex scene with a guy. It is always this thing have I, has Nick? No. But it’s my lips, it’s my hands, it’s my body, even if I’m playing a character. So technically I have done that, so I wouldn’t say I haven’t, because that would be lying. But as me, Nick, I am very open about who I am and that I have nothing to prove. I know what I am, I’ve been honest about that.”
Okay, it’s been a while for me, but I’m pretty sure that’s nowthow gay sex fucking works. If Nick can say that he’s “technically” been with another man because he got paid to do a fake gay sex scene in a TV show, then that means we should send Denise Richards to North Korea to dismantle their nuclear weapons since she played a nuclear physicist in The World Is Not Enough.
But seriously, going by Nick’s logic, does that mean that if you put up an ad on Craigslist with the headline “Looking For A Prince Harry Look-Alike Or A Dude In A Prince Harry Mask For Hot $$$$exy Times” and the dude who answers the ad lets you call him “Prince Harry” the entire time, you can technically say that you’ve hooked up with Prince Hot Ginge? I’m not asking for me. I’m asking for a friend…and I just realized that everyone knows I don’t have friends.
And here’s Nick performing at BBC Radio 1’s Big Weekend in Exeter on Saturday. Notice how in the first picture Nick is watching another guy play a bass. Nick can technically say that he’s watched another dude play with his instrument, so gays, please buy his albums and watch his show!