There’s No Ball Without The Grand High Witch

May 3, 2016 / Posted by:

A night of magic! A night of enchantment! Oh, the fantasy of fashion! Bringing to life stories of yore and shit. All manner of creatures made their way to the Meth Gala last night, so strong was the pull of photo ops and questionable clothing that it united the entire kingdom. There were the bridge trolls, in their traditional mud robes. A local sartorial celebrity, the old crone who lived in a shoe came to greet fans both young and old. And from far away Egypt came a mummy! How frightening! And the most fearsome and awe-inspiring of them all, the Grand High Witch.

We can only wonder who it was she cursed to prick their finger on the spindle of a spinning wheel. Hopefully Rita Ora. God, we all want her gone. Nicole Kidman graced the peasants with her icy glare and showed them what a real movie star looks like. And what a movie star looks like when she goes all out Stevie Nicks, witchy woman – I’m looking at you Madonna. Accompanying her was the dashing Prince Mall Highlights (aka Keith Urban). Because of her position as Grand High Witch, she must toe the line between good and evil, keeping the balance in check.  Let’s hope she graciously lent a magical touch to the ailing leper. If she can freeze time – and her face – surely she can cure diseases of the skin.

As the moon rose high and the party went on, she watched over the other creatures, thinking to herself, “Who the fuck are these people?“, the others none the wiser. For one cannot tell what goes on behind that never changing visage. Her time was not long amongst those lowly things and shortly after, she left to return to the night…

Pics: Splash

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