Chris Martin Takes A Day Off From Eating Every Week

January 21, 2016 / Posted by:

When Chris Martin and Goopy Paltrowconsciously uncoupled” I joked that he probably immediately ran to Arby’s where he paid two employees to stretch out his mouth hole with their hands as another employee shoved delicious horsey-sauce covered beef ‘n cheddar sliders down his throat. I thought that when Chris and Goopy broke up, he also broke up with eating like a snobby bird. But nope, Chris Martin is Goopy with a dick.

Chris was on NYC’s Fresh 102.7 to promote Coldplay’s new album and he talked about his diet. Goopy Paltrow once said that she went on that 5:2 diet where you practically fast 2 days a week by only eating a few hundred calories. Chris says that he also gets into intermittent fasting and for 1 day a week his stomach turns into Oliver Twist and screams, “Please, sir, I want some more.” Chris doesn’t put anything in his mouth except for water for one whole day. Chris says that fasting for one day makes him sing better. To which everyone asked, “Bitch, where’s the proof?” Maybe Chris is confusing the sound coming out of his voice with the cries coming from his stomach.

“I fast once a week. I started doing it because I was sick one time, and this guy said to me, ‘Just try not eating for a day cause it will make your body feel healthier.’ I did it and I found out that I can sing better. And also I felt so grateful for food. I did it once a week and it makes me just grateful for everything in a way that I wasn’t so much before.”

Chris says that fasting can bring the asshole out of you after a while, but after that, joy fills your empty stomach and you feel grateful about everything. You hear that, starving people of the world? Your starving asses should be happy!

“If you fast for a while, about 15 hours in, you get a little antsy, so you’ve got to be careful who you’re talking to at that point. I think that that feeling of gratitude and stuff naturally brings out a joyous feeling, so, and also when you’re hungry you are very focused, so both sides of it I think help creativity.”

I agree with Chris about how being hungry makes you very focused. It makes me very focused on getting some fucking nachos into my eating hole. But whatever works for you, Dude Goopy. And I eat 3 meals a day and approximately 17 snacks a day and I am still very, very grateful for delicious food. Before I swallow an entire bag of Hot Fries whole, I cry sing an acoustic version of “You Are So Beautiful To Me” to it.

And here’s Dude Goopy and his son Moses at a Lakers game in L.A. last night.


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