Leonardo DiCatchAHo Won Another Golden Globe!

January 10, 2016 / Posted by:

Bitch is Kabbalah? We’ll discuss that later. In the meantime…

Because of the way shit has been going tonight, I expected Trumbo (aka Bryan Cranston) to win the Best Actor in a Drama at the Golden Globes tonight. Honestly, I was hoping that would happen, because I was fully ready to see Leonardo DiCatchAHo break his glass on the table and threaten to cut a bitch, because tonight was supposed to be his dress rehearsal for the Oscars. But it happened for Leo, he won and he was able to rehearse for the Oscars. Leo gave a speech that he totally didn’t rehearse in the mirror a thousand times today. When Leo’s name was announced, I was kind of hoping that he’d walk by Lady Gaga’s table.

Those douchetastic fist bumps….

On a bathroom floor somewhere, Leonardo DiCaprio’s true soulmate Lukas Haas is curled up in the fetal position, because he wasn’t thanked at all. Bitch is one of the most loyal hangers-on in the game and what does he get for it. Not even a thank you in a stupid awards speech! And right there on the floor with Lukas is the CGI bear from The Revenant, because Leo didn’t thank that trick either. That’s stone cold.

Pics: Splash, Getty

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