Bitch is Kabbalah? We’ll discuss that later. In the meantime…
Because of the way shit has been going tonight, I expected Trumbo (aka Bryan Cranston) to win the Best Actor in a Drama at the Golden Globes tonight. Honestly, I was hoping that would happen, because I was fully ready to see Leonardo DiCatchAHo break his glass on the table and threaten to cut a bitch, because tonight was supposed to be his dress rehearsal for the Oscars. But it happened for Leo, he won and he was able to rehearse for the Oscars. Leo gave a speech that he totally didn’t rehearse in the mirror a thousand times today. When Leo’s name was announced, I was kind of hoping that he’d walk by Lady Gaga’s table.
Those douchetastic fist bumps….
On a bathroom floor somewhere, Leonardo DiCaprio’s true soulmate Lukas Haas is curled up in the fetal position, because he wasn’t thanked at all. Bitch is one of the most loyal hangers-on in the game and what does he get for it. Not even a thank you in a stupid awards speech! And right there on the floor with Lukas is the CGI bear from The Revenant, because Leo didn’t thank that trick either. That’s stone cold.
Pics: Splash, Getty