“Brace The Charts, Because Here Comes My Latest Number OooooooOoooooone!”

November 17, 2015 / Posted by:

I was stopped at a red light not too long ago and out of the corner of my eye, I spotted a dude in the car next to me SANGING so hard that I expected the roof of his motor vehicle to fly right the hell off. We both had our windows up, so I couldn’t hear the song he was singing, but after a few seconds it was clear to me by the way streams of pure emotion oozed out of his pores, that the spirit of Adele had taken over his body and he was yodeling out “Hello.” Bitch was feeling it like he was me and that song was an 8″ hard peen. I may drive around the streets today while hoping that fate brings the red light chanteuse and I back together, because my soul needs to experience his rendition of Adele’s newest song “When We Were Young.”

Adele wrote the song with Tobias Jesso Jr and performed it at Church Studios in London for her 60 Minutes Australia special. The performance was released this morning and I’m sure that annoyed janitors everywhere are sweeping up the piles of dust that people turned into in their cubicles after listening to Adele hit those high notes. (Side note: One of my Adele-a-holic friends was going on and on about how great she is recently and joked, “A Dell? More like an Apple™.” I think of that joke every time I type her name and yes, I broke up with my friend because of that.)

Adele told Sirius XM yesterday that “When We Were Young” is about reuniting with friends you haven’t seen in decades:

“It was kind of based on us being older and being at a party, kind of, at this house seeing everyone that you’ve ever fallen out with, everyone that you’ve ever loved, everyone that you’ve never loved. You can’t find the time to be in each other lives and you’re all thrown together at this party when you’re like 50, and it doesn’t matter and you have so much fun and you feel like you’re 15 again. So, that’s the kind of vibe of it, really … My favorite lyric in it is, ‘You look like a movie, you sound like a song / My god, this reminds me of when we were young.'”

Okay, now this is an Adele song I cannot relate to. If my 50-something-self somehow found himself at a party with tricks I fell out with and exes I haven’t seen in years, I wouldn’t be having fun. That sounds like a party from HELL. I’d be getting plastered on whatever mind-numbing substances were available while petting the cat in the corner as I whispered the words, “Please entertain me, so I don’t have to talk to these people,” in its ear.

Here’s Adele in NYC yesterday and today.

Pics: Wenn.com

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