Jaromir Jagr is a 43-year-old professional hockey player from the Czech Republic who currently plays for the Florida Panthers. Jaromir isn’t married and he recently boned an 18-year-old model. The model took a post-fuck selfie of them in bed together. Either the model or someone else threatened to release the selfie if Jaromir didn’t give them $2,000, because you know, a 40-something professional athlete screwing a barely legal model is some career-ruining scandalous shit. Only it isn’t. It would’ve been more shocking if the chick in bed with him was his age. Jaromir knows it ain’t no big deal, so he said, “I don’t care,” to the blackmailer’s demands. Whoops.
The Czech tabloid Blesk (via The Daily Beast) was the first to report the failed extortion attempt. Some reports claim that the 18-year-old model, known as “Catherine from Moravia,” was the blackmailer. Other reports claim that the picture made the rounds on Czech social media and someone other than “Catherine” tried to use it get money out of Jaromir. The blackmailer ended up with a handful of nothing, because when they told Jaromir that they were going to leak the picture if he didn’t pay them $2,000, he literally said, “I don’t care.” That sad extortion conversation probably went a little something like this:
Blackmailer: We want $2,000.
Blackmailer: Okay, $500!
Blackmailer: Pay our Netflix bill for a year?
Blackmailer: Okay, last offer, two Quarter Pounders from McDonald’s and a 3-day bus pass.
Blackmailer: Reimburse us for this call then?
If Catherine was the blackmailer, that’s two thousand layers of sad, because it’s always a tragic day when a gold digger doesn’t meet her goal. It would also be sad, because Catherine is apparently dating Czech junior player Dominik Rudl and this exposes her ass. Whoever the blackmailer was, they should’ve known that Jaromir Jagr is already a member of the National League Of No Fucks To Give. There’s many, many more embarrassing pictures of Jaromir out there. I mean, there’s picture after picture of him looking like this:
If Jaromir doesn’t care about a picture of him with a “horse with a bad Ogilvie home perm” mullet, he’s definitely not going to care about a picture of him in bed with a naked 18-year-old model.