Royal Harlot Alert: Duchess Kate Flashes A Thigh In Public. GASP!
On a rug in a room in Buckingham Palace somewhere, THE QUEEN is laid out after she clutched her pearls and fell over from her genteel senses getting rocked by the scandalous sight of Duchess Kate’s bare thigh in public. The royal family’s pristine image was just recovering from the royal ESCANDALO that was Duchess Kate’s nalgas being caught on camera and then this happens! Once THE QUEEN is awakened by her Corgis licking her face off, she’s going to order Duchess Kate’s ladies-in-waiting to replace all knickers with the thigh-covering bloomers.
Just four months after Duchess Kate birthed out Prince Hot Ginge’s future boozing partner (because neither of them have to worry about dumb crap like being the future queen or king of England), she was back to work as a professional hand shaker, smiler and waver. DK showed up at the Anna Freud Centre in north London today and she wore a dress and a pair of Kristin Calawhatever’s Secret Bangs. Duchess Kate could wear a potato sack race bag and every Lowe’s, Sam’s Club and Party City would instantly sell out of them. But UsWeekly says that the $1,595 Ralph Lauren dress she wore today still hasn’t sold out yet.
The “Austin” shirtdress by Ralph Lauren Black Label is shockingly still available in a variety of sizes on Ralphlauren.com as of press time. The black-and-white belted style will set you back a cool $1,595, however.
Shockingly! DK’s powers of selling out the most basic of dresses just by wearing it must be weakening! No, I’m sure it’ll sell out soon. It’s just taking her loyal fan club of basics a little while to sell their child’s kidney on the black market so they have enough money to buy a Ralph Lauren dress that looks like something you can find for 1/30th of the price at any Dress Barn.
