Joseph Gordon-Levitt Is A Daddy Now

August 19, 2015 / Posted by:

Now? What do you mean, now?” thought everyone who has ever uttered the words “Damn, daddy” while watching Joseph Gordon-Levitt bump and grind on SNL (shamefully raises hand).

Eight months after Tommy Solomon from 3rd Rock from the Sun got secret married to his non-famous girlfriend Tasha McCauley, UsWeekly (via Daily Mail) is saying that they’ve gone ahead and had a secret baby. Look at that! A Hollywood-ish couple who didn’t run straight to their publicist 0.3 seconds after the plus sign appeared on the piss stick. Crazy.

JoGo and his normal person wife haven’t announced to anyone that they’re parents, because they’re sort of into that whole “having a private life” thing (“Ew gross why” hissed Kim Kardashian, who is no doubt on her 11,294th please pay attention to me pregnancy selfie of the day), But his rep claims that yes, he’s a daddy. An insider says Tasha birthed out a boy, and that “everyone’s happy and healthy.

We’ll probably never know anything else about Baby Gordon-Levitt, but I’m still going to guess his name. Hey, we might find that out. It’s probably something totally normal, like Kevin. Just Kevin. With that being said, if they want their kid’s identity to remain a secret, then I don’t advise they ever take Baby Question Mark to one of the old Chuck E. Cheese’s that still have the creepy animatronic animal band. It doesn’t matter how many times you tell them you don’t want them to scream out your name while singing “Happy Birthday“, they’ll still do it. That shady rat is loyal to no one.

Pic: Splash

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