Chris Hemsworth Was Too Big For His Initial Stunt Penis

August 1, 2015 / Posted by:

Chris Hemsworth sports a giant fake cock in his scenes for that wholly unnecessary Vacation remake/sequel. Vulture reports that he was too big and brawny in the bod to successfully model the 8-incher.

I feel like a complete imposter writing this post because if Michael K is anything, he is a dickpig of the highest order. He’s basically the Dickpig-In-Chief. Michael’s got wang on the brain all the live long day. So when a story comes up that contains so many references to dick…I just feel like he’s the only ho to do it justice. But alas, he takes his well-deserved weekends off. So you dick post fans are stuck with me. I’ll try my hardest. That was intentional.

Thor plays Ed Helms’ brother-in-law in the flick and he walks around in his underwear, bearing a massive cock outline. The writers/directors John Francis Daley and Jonathan Goldstein say that the whole process of finding the proper fake dick was arduous. They had a stand-in model several dicks, and it made everyone uncomfortable. This is a movie where the family swims in shit, so that’s odd.

When they had narrowed it down to an 8-inch stunt schlong and a 10-inch stunt schlong, Thor was called in to model them. Uncomfortability (is that even a word) can get fucked, because I would be so in on that fitting. Here, Chris, let me help you adjust it.

If you also consider yourself a dickpig, follow the jump for more celebrity fake penis info and some screen caps of the false penis in question.

“The morning we shot that sequence, we went into another room in the house we were shooting in, and Chris modeled the eight-inch and the ten-inch options for us,” said Daley. The eight-incher was quickly vetoed: “As big as it would seem, it did not look that big on him. I think it was just because Chris is such a big, hulking dude.”

“He makes the normal-size penis look small,” Goldstein concurred.

Is that a good thing or a bad thing? If I knew science-things, I could probably work it out. The crew also ran into a cockblock when they realized that a metal pole in the fake kept it permanently erect.

“Chris was playing with it, and handling it,” said Daley, “and we found that there was this metal rod in it that was supposed to make it bendable. The problem was whatever shape you bent it into, it would stay in — which is not like a real dick! So we took the rod out, which allowed it to be more flaccid, but obviously just as huge.”

“Playing with it, and handling it!” Gasp! This was one provocative interview. Will that footage be on the gag reel? Could it be? *clicks over to Amazon to pre-order the Blu-Ray*

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