Marilyn Monroe Is The New Face Of Max Factor

Well, I hope this leads to Frank Sinatra’s peen becoming the new dick of Trojan Magnum condoms.

When Dove chocolates used black magic (read: CGI) to bring Audrey Hepburn back to life in one of their commercials, I just knew it would lead to more companies using dead Hollywood legends to hawk out their products. Max Factor is the latest company to pull some Misty Day shit by bringing back a dead person for an ad campaign.

Max Factor turns 80 this year and to celebrate their birthday, they’ve named one of their most famous clients Marilyn Monroe as the face of their new campaign. “Marilyn Monroe” will star in a bunch of print ads and commercials for Max Factor. Even in death, Marilyn Monroe is making more money than most hos. Marilyn Monroe can’t wear Max Factor makeup anymore since, you know, she doesn’t have a face, so they had to use old pictures. Max Factor (the company, not the person, he’s dead too) released a statement to Glamour where they reminded everyone that he’s the one who dyed her hair blond and said that they still sell some of her favorite shades.

“Norma Jean entered his [Max Factor’s] Blonde Room in the late 1940s as a brunette, and thanks to Mr. Max Factor emerged complete with platinum blonde hair, a beauty look fit for Marilyn Monroe.

It is the ultimate look that defines glamour – nothing else compares. Ruby Tuesday, inspired by one of Marilyn’s favourite Max Factor lipsticks, is still my go-to red today for an instant shot of glamour, and continues to be one of the most popular shades for both make-up artists and real women. It’s the ultimate glamorous red.”

I doubt Marilyn Monroe would approve of this nonsense after what happened last year. It’s probably all kinds of awkward up in heaven because Marilyn Monroe has been giving Max Factor the silent treatment ever since his company did her dirty. Last year, Goopy Paltrow was the face of Max Factor and they did her up as several Hollywood icons including Marilyn Monroe.

That was an unforgivable sin and Marilyn Monroe should never forgive Max Factor for that.

And is Max Factor trying to out themselves as necrophiliacs? I mean, last year the face of their brand was a trick who is dead inside and this year it’s an actual dead woman.