In Case You Were Wondering, Yes, Screech Is Still A Mess (UPDATE)

Well, it’s good to know that Dustin Diamond Cubic Zirconia is still the biggest yeast infection bump of the Saved By The Bell cast and that’s saying a lot since Mario Lopez was in that cast.

Gossip Cop says that Screech (which is also the sound his career made after SBTB ended) was arrested in Port Washington, Wisconsin early this morning after he allegedly pulled a switchblade on a woman at a bar. Apparently, the neck beard-having urethra pimple and his piece (TMZ says the piece is his wife Jennifer and Gossip Cop says it’s his girlfriend Amanda) got into a fight with another couple at the bar. TMZ says that the couple Screech and his piece were fighting with were trying to take a picture of them. The fight led to Screech’s piece reportedly punching out a woman. The cops were eventually called and that’s when Screech pulled a switchblade on a trick.

Screech’s piece was arrested for disorderly conduct and was released back into the wild this morning. Screech was also put into handcuffs and charged with possession of a switchblade, reckless endangerment and carrying a concealed weapon. His bail has been set at $1,000, so I’m sure Mr. Belding got a call really early this morning from a drunken mess asking for a loan. Screech is still sitting his pathetic ass in jail, so who knows if he’ll be saved by the bail or not.

Carrying a switchblade is against the law in Wisconsin.

This Christmas story has so many layers of messiness and I have many questions. Who in the Hell carries a switchblade? Does Dustin Diamond think he’s Pony Boy or some shit? Who in the Hell tries to take a picture of Screech’s ass in the year 2014? I know it’s Wisconsin, but damn. What kind of human woman goes out in public with Screech?!

And Screech doesn’t need to carry around a switchblade. If he really wants to inflict pain on a trick with a deadly weapon, he should just give them a copy of his sex tape. I haven’t been the same since watching that dark-sided nastiness.

UPDATE: TMZ says that Screech stabbed a dude with his switchblade and left a 1/2 inch wound. Screech claims that the guy he stabbed attacked he and his wife. Screech’s bail isn’t $1,000, it’s $10,000. So yeah, every SBTB cast member isn’t answering the phone today.