Drivers of L.A., you better put on your protective racing helmet and hang a rosary around your rearview mirror, because the streets are unsafe again!
Last night at LAX, a tired, leather orange bag carrying a Herpes (don’t make me fix that typo) purse made her way through after getting off of a flight from London. Recently, the hos of Southern California breathed out ten clouds of relief when Lindsay Lohan said that she’s never ever going to live in the land of Double Doubles, plastic faces and Angelyne again. But because it’s been much too long since the halls of the Chateau Marmont have been filled with the sound of LiLo’s crackie wails as she bangs on the door of some actor’s room, she’s back for a visit.
Well, it was fun while it lasted, L.A.,! But today, every baby isn’t going to hit the streets unless they’re riding in one of these, every drug dealer is moving to Miami for the rest of the month and every jewelry store is hanging bras on their front doors. We all know she doesn’t go near a bra.
And here’s LiLo declaring war on Christmas in day 17 of Love Magazine’s fame whore advent calendar video:
If there’s an asshole in your family (“Hmmm, I wonder who that could be?” – my family members) who only deserve a lump of coal in their stocking this year, save the coal and give them a printed screen shot of LiLo blowing a dirty air kiss instead.