Things Between Amber Rose And Wiz Khalifa Are Definitely Getting Messy (UPDATE)
When the news broke yesterday that beautiful bald booty-shaking earth angel Amber Rose had filed for divorce from her Clifford from Muppets Tonight-looking husband Wiz Khalifa after only one year of marriage, I was actually very sad. I almost felt a tear form in my eye! Amber and Wiz seemed like they’d be together forever. I mean, just look at their exquisitely tacky wedding photo; if that isn’t the definition of soul mates, then I don’t know what is.
Thankfully I’ve had 24 hours to make peace with the fact that true twerk-poppin’ tattooed muppet love is dead and burning in a dumpster fire somewhere, and I became hopeful that maybe their divorce won’t be a dramatic mess. NOPE! According to TMZ, shit is already starting to get dirty. A source close to Amber says that she knew something was up when he wouldn’t let her come on tour with him in July. He claims he wanted her to stay at home and look after their 1-year-old baby, but Amber was convinced it was because he wanted to pass his skinny scarecrow dick to a plethora of hoochies without getting caught by his wife. The source says Cheez Whiz tried to assert his dominance by explaining that she needs to stay home because he’s the ‘breadwinner’ and he needs to be alone to make money.
Of course, Wiz maintains that it’s Amber who’s responsible for breaking up their happy home by rubbing her bubble butt on Nick Cannon’s wild n’ outs, and that she was a nag.
Now I don’t know what the hell to believe! I was under the assumption these two spent their nights cuddling under an afghan on the couch while watching Love It or List It, but it sounds like their marriage involved a lot less TV and way more running full-tilt to the bathroom to wash the strange off their down-lows while the other one chased after them screaming “IF YOU AIN’T GUILTY, THEN LET ME SMELL IT!”
And now that I know that their marriage is offically offically over, is it wrong of me that I sort of hope Wiz and Amber get into a messy custody battle over Amber’s butt?
UPDATE: And it gets even messier! Amber Rose just threw some not-so-subtle shade at Wiz Khalifa on Twitter:
Please stop with the fake stories. I would never ever ever cheat on my husband in a million years I think u guys know this…..
— Amber Rose (@DaRealAmberRose) September 25, 2014
Unfortunately my now ex husband can't say the same….
— Amber Rose (@DaRealAmberRose) September 25, 2014
Pic: Instagram