Me. I Am Photoshopped.

May 1, 2014 / Posted by:

CORRECTION: That headline is dead wrong, because that technological wonder of an album cover is beyond Photoshop’s capabilities. That headline should read: Me. I am CGI’d. That’s better and much more factually correct.

The horny butterfly announced her 14th album last night and everything about it is ridiculous and one hundred percent Mimi from the fairy tale version of herself on that velvet painting cover to the title to the video explaining the title. It can only come from the Mr. Sketch-huffing 12-year-old trapped inside of Mimi. That cover must be what Mimi sees when she looks in the mirror, which makes sense since every mirror in her house is a Fun House mirror that stretches her legs into another dimension and makes her feets look bigger than Wonky McValtrex’s hooves. Mimi should really trademark that “sucking in and smelling my pits” pose since it’s her signature. The title is equally as ridiculous. The title is:

Me. I Am…. The Elusive Chanteuse

THE ELUSIVE CHANTEUSE!!!

What in Word For A Day calendar ridiculousness is that?! That sounds like the sub-title for the least popular Nancy Drew mystery. It sounds like the name of a Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen straight-to-video detective movie from 1994. The Elusive Chanteuse is Carmen Sandiego’s arch rival. The words “elusive” and “chanteuse” (or “SHAWN-TOOS” as Mimi pronounces it) should never be used to describe her. The “elusive clothes wearer,” yes. The “batshit insane chanteuse,” definitely. But not the elusive chanteuse.

In a video explaining that title, Mimi says that people have been calling her that lately and by people she means the minions who were told by her to refer to her as the “elusive chanteuse” from now on. Mimi also says in the video that the she got the “Me. I Am” part from a self-portrait she drew of herself when she was 3. You know she totally drew that last week. The pack of Reds was a nice touch.

That self-portrait looks more like Mimi than that album cover does.

With all that being said, I love the title and the album cover. Only Mimi.

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