RiRi’s Elegant Nipples Will Light The Way

In case you couldn’t tell from the screams of paranoia coming from the Southern California area, THE STORM OF EVERY CENTURY!!! has hit Southern California. Even though California is thirstier than ever because of the drought and shit, the media is still being extra dramatic and screaming for the National Guard’s help before the falling water ruins everyone’s fake tan! This is a serious emergency. I was watching the news early this morning and saying, “Don’t you fret, Monsieur M’rius,” to all the media whores losing their minds over a little fall of rain (I can’t believe I just referenced Les Miz). Just as I was laughing at the rain panic, my power went out. That’s what my dumbass gets. The electric company said that a transformer blew out and yes, I got the tingles for a minute picturing a Transformer blowing another Transformer. My laptop battery is dying faster than your patience during a Kanye rant and I’m getting WiFi from a hotspot on my phone, so it’s only a matter of time before my laptop and my phone croak out their last breath of power and I’m left in the dark. I’ll cry myself into the fetal position on the floor, because when my WiFi connection dies, so does MY SOUL!!!!

But before that happens, here’s RiRi trying out-Miley Miley in Paris last night by wearing an outfit you’d usually see on a twink sub at a gay BDSM club. But you know, if you’re RiRi and your at a club, you will have a collar around your neck and your alien nips will be breathing in the moist air through a Hot Topic mesh shirt. It’s just the way it is. Pure sophistication.

And here’s more of RiRi’s nips at the club and pictures of RiRi showing up to the Dior show today. I see she’s still auditioning hard for the role of Elvira Hancock in the Scarface remake.

Pics: Instagram, FameFlynet