FYI: Jon Gosselin Got Sterilized

January 14, 2014 / Posted by:

Bad news for the zero of you dirty whores who really wanted to spread your chocha for Ed Hardy’s failed wingman Jon Gosselin and let him fuck a baby into you so you can spend the next 18 years chasing him through the woods for a child support check, it’s not going to happen. But good news for all of us, Jon Gosselin is done spawning! While whoring out that Couples Therapy show on Wendy Williams (via People), Jon let it be known that he and his girlfriend Liz Jannetta will never have kids together, because they both turned off their baby making parts. As family court judges threw their legs up in the air and squirted out streams of YES, Jon kept it blunt and simple:

“We can’t have more kids. Yeah, I’m fixed and Liz is fixed.”

Yeah, I know we should all be celebrating in the streets over this news, but I’m pretty sure Jon Gosselin got “fixed” a long ass time ago. When Kate Gosselin sunk her viper teeth into his nutsack and pulled that shit out by the root, she probably Vasectomy’d his ass in the process.

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