The Photoshop Awards: The Maleficent Poster

November 12, 2013 / Posted by:

Here’s a white fairy who can turn into a fire-breathing demonic dragon if you fuck with her playing a white fairy who can turn into a fire-breathing demonic dragon if you fuck with her.

I know that when it comes to movie posters about fantasy shit the rule is the same rule Mariah Carey tells the minions making her album covers: PHOTOSHOP IT UNTIL YOUR FINGERS BLEED AND YOUR NAILS FALL OFF, DAHLINGS! But that face doesn’t look like the face of St. Angie Jolie. That’s probably the point. It looks like a vacuum-sealed Madonna ¬†wearing the green contacts my goth cousin bought on clearance at Sally’s Beauty and Loki horns made with Hefty bags. You know the tip of that horn has tickled Brad Pitt’s b-hole once or twice before. And I know St. Angie is the moon, the stars and God’s inspiration, but she should lose her sainthood and be thrown into a prison cell forever if she fucks up Maleficent.

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