There’s Trouble In Falkor Paradise

October 30, 2013 / Posted by:

The plastic skeleton that is hanging on your neighbor’s front porch for Halloween might have a new set of balloons tits on it and that’s because it thinks it has a chance with Eddie Cibrian after finding out that he might be dumping that other plastic skeleton with balloon tits.

America’s foremost journal of truth and integrity Star Magazine says that the black card in Eddie Cibrian’s wallet and the luxury car he bought with LeAnn Rimes’ money isn’t enough to soothe the last nerve that splits every time he has to deal with her crazy ass. After two years of marriage, Star’s source says that Eddie can’t take it anymore and living with psycho LeAnn is a lot like being stuck in a 6′ X 6′ room with a methed-up horse and a sneaky snake. Eddie is waiting until they shoot their fake reality shit show before he tries to pull as much money as he can out of her luck dragon claws. Star’s source said:

“They’ve only been married for two and a half years, but she’s been driving him to distraction with her psycho behavior from the moment they first hooked up. It’s been getting continuously worse since they made it official, and Eddie can’t take it anymore; he’s at the end of his rope.”

The source also says that Eddie might be running back into the bony arms of Brandi Glanville, because he texts her every time he gets into it with LeAnn.

Of course, LeAnn’s spokeswhore has already whistled at GossipCop to say that Star’s story is full of more shit than LeAnn and Eddie combined.

For once, I kind of believe LeAnn’s spokeswhore. Eddie is living a gold digger’s dream. He gets to live in a mansion, luxuriate on a pile of money and hump his side pieces out in the open, because LeAnn is too busy tweeting at her haters and getting drunk in the closet. What’s with that drunk in the closet shit anyway? LeAnn pays the mortgage! Eddie should be banging his side pieces in the closet while she gets to get drunk all over the house. I swear, some cheating gold diggers have no respect!

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