Why The Fuck Do I Have To Be Gay?

October 12, 2013 / Posted by:

When there are clean, pristine women of virtue like Paz de la Huerta staggering about in the world? That is one big, beautiful lady. Her lush tendrils of hair, rosy complexion, and curvy hamhocks…it’s like a Botticelli come to life! Gaga needs to take the lawn decoration out of her chocha and have several seats. THIS is art personified.

Can you imagine the shit you can get into with her? One harmless afternoon of day drinking with Spaz would lead to her getting her tits out at the food court and pissing in fountains. You know this one is slapping children off swing sets and answering the iron plugged in and set to “all cotton” (“STOP CALLING US, YOU MATHERFACKERS!” *ear sizzling*) in her free time.

I was recently riding the MUNI in San Francisco and there was this one gal who boarded who looked like she had crawled through a burning dumpster to get to the meth cut with plutonium. And that lady would be giving the “yeesh” look to Spaz.

Btw, these pics noted that seeing-eye maniac (that poor blind ragamuffin that the agency gave Paz to…) Paz was ARRIVING at the Chateau Marmont on Thursday night. If you look like you’re having a cocaine–induced heart attack, holding in a vom, and someone just fried up some bacon on your mug when you GET to the bar…*sad face*

Pics: PCN

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