RPattz On Twihards: “What Do They Do All Day?”

August 22, 2013 / Posted by:

Robert Pattinson’s either sniffing to find out if the scent of Rupert Sanders’ saliva is finally off of his finger or he’s wondering what the Twihards are doing right this second.

RPattz did an interview with the German edition of Interview Magazine about Dior Homme’s fragrance, which he’s the face of, and since you can only talk about cologne for so long, they asked him about his nickname and Twihards. RPattz has said before that nothing takes the sparkles out of his skin like hearing the nickname RPattz. He told Interview that he wants to choke out the “fat celebrity blogger” who came up with it. via HuffPo:

The “Twilight” star spoke to the German edition of Interview magazine as the new face of Dior’s Homme and had some choice words for one particular blogger.

“I’d like to strangle the guy who came up with it!” Pattinson said, reports InTouch. According to the magazine, the actor would only refer to the aforementioned guy as “some fat celebrity blogger.”

I’m only fat from my nipples to my knees, so my neck is safe. But now that RPattz says that the name RPattz makes him want to commit murder, I’ll never stop calling him RPattz RPattz RPattz RPattz RPattz.

Interview also asked him about the group of crazies known as Twihards who have helped to make him a trillionaire and he said that doesn’t really understand them:

“The real odd thing about this ‘Twilight’ target group is that they aren’t really teenagers. Most of them are older. ‘Twilight’ has its own parallel world, its own fan culture that has been forming on the net since day one. And in an intense way that has never existed before. Sometimes I ask myself what these masses of people do the whole day. They sit in front of their computers and comment on anything having even remotely to do with ‘Twilight.’ So it’s actually really exciting – at least up to point when I became part of that phenomenon.”

HAHAHAHAHA. But really, what does he mean he doesn’t know what they do all day? Is RPattz really acting like he doesn’t know that their day goes something like this:

8am – Roll out of the Twilight sleeping bag they cocooned themselves in.
8:02am – Smear body glitter all over their mouth with a Twidildo so it looks like they just gave Edward Cullen a morning beej.
8:20am – Make a breakfast shake with the trash they stole from RPattz’s garbage cans.
9:00am – Give themselves a sink bath, carefully making sure that they don’t wipe the spot on their hand where RPattz’s bodyguard once swatted them away when they tried to touch his face. RPattz must’ve touched his bodyguards hand at least once, so it’s like one degree of touch separation.
9:10am – Pray at their ROBSTENISUNBROKEN altar.
1pm – Leave ALL CAPS, RAGE-FILLED COMMENTS on every anti-Robsten post on every blog and on Twitter.
5pm – Continue to write the Twatlight fanfiction they plan to submit to Vintage Books.
5:15pm – Do a live performance of one of the Twatlight movies using their cats (both alive and taxidermy).
8pm – Wallpaper their bedroom ceiling with new paparazzi pics of KStew and RPattz.
9pm – Cry on their kitchen floor while eating spoonfuls of Bisquick powder out of the box.
10pm – Have a snuggle date with their Edward Cullen body pillow.

Doesn’t he know that?! I swear, how could RPattz mess with Nutty Madam’s emotions like this?


Oh, I forgot to add: 4:30pm – fake cry on YouTube about how much you miss Twatlight.

And here’s RPattz kissing on Mia Wasikowska while filming Cronenberg’s Map to the Stars in L.A.

Pics: FameFlynet, Wenn.com

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