It’s Your Fault That The Difficult Brown Had A Seizure

Not a day goes by when Chris Brown isn’t throwing his fists around and freaking out, but yesterday morning he did it for a different reason. Even though The Difficult Brown turned in his resignation letter to the music industry, he was at a recording studio in L.A. yesterday morning when he had a seizure. An ambulance was called and because he’s forever an uncooperative asshole, he refused treatment. Fist Brown’s spokeswhore says that he’s not epileptic and he wasn’t admitted into the hospital. His spokeswhore told UsWeekly that all us meanie cunts who are mean to poor, wittle Chris Brown are to blame for this!

“While in the studio working early this morning, Chris suffered a nonepileptic seizure (NES). He was not hospitalized. His doctor tended to him this afternoon and attributes the NES to intense fatigue and extreme emotional stress, both due to the continued onslaught of unfounded legal matters and the nonstop negativity.”

That makes sense! It was all The Difficult Brown haters (are we called “the laxatives“?) on the Internet who shoved all those drugs into his nostrils and mouth. But really, who knew that everyone’s non-stop, never-ending Chris Brown hate actually had an effect. The power of hating Fist Brown is strong!