Things That Make Sense: The Vatican Bought Europe’s Biggest Gay Bathhouse

The double doors of the Sistine Chapel burst open this morning and a priest ran in while shouting, “Guuuurrrrrls, bring your cup and saucers forward, because have I got some T for you.”

As the cardinals gather together to pick the Catholic Church’s next big gay superstar, another ESCANDALO is hitting the church. The NYDN says that the Vatican spent $30 million to buy an apartment building in Rome that also houses Europa Multi Club, a huge gay sauna and club. Europa is like John Travolta’s idea of heaven, because it has a Turkish bath, a Finnish sauna and weekly bear nights.

Cardinal Ivan Dias of India, who once said that gays can be cured of their gayness, lives in a fancy 12-room apartment right above Europa. The Vatican had nothing to say about this.

So at 2 Via Carducci in Rome, there’s a place where men get naked, lick the sweat off of each other’s ass cheeks and listen to techno music while jacking each other off, and right below that is a gay sauna? Got it.

And these pictures are of the Europa Multi Club, but if it wasn’t for that tag, you’d probably think they were pictures of the cardinal conclave.