Macaulay Culkin Is Hooked On Heroin, So Says The Enquirer

August 1, 2012 / Posted by:

Nope.” is basically what Macaulay Culkin’s rep said earlier this year when asked if he was sick in a bad way or if he was bitten by a zombie. Macaulay’s rep was asked those questions after pictures of him looking like a shriveled turtle starring in a remake of The Machinist made the rounds. Macaulay’s rep added that he was perfectly healthy and nothing’s wrong, but according to The National Enquirer (via Radar), there’s a whole lot of wrong going on in Macaulay’s life.

The Enquirer claims that Macaulay has turned his apartment into a bad shit paradise and he spends most of his days in there getting high by himself or with a circle of junkie friends. (“Let me know when you need a subletter, Mac!” – Lindsay Lohan) The Enquirer’s source says a huge piece of his Home Alone money, $6,000 a month to be exact, goes to buy his two drugs of choice: heroin and oxycodone. The source went on to say that shit has gone from “serious” to “really serious” to “no, seriously, this is a man down code 10 situation,” because Macaulay has overdosed twice and his closest friends are afraid he’ll soon be moonwalking on the clouds in heaven with his old friend Michael Jackson.

“He’s addicted to heroin, oxyco done, Percocet and Vicodin. I have witnessed his drug taking, which has escalated over the past year and a half to the point where he needs serious help. His closest friends fear that he’ll overdose or his heart will explode. If he doesn’t get help and enter rehab now, he could be dead in six months. It [overdosing] should have been a wake-up call, but it didn’t seem to have any effect on him. Mac is still partying hard. I pray that he finds the courage and strength to clean up before it’s too late.”

“I was so shocked and concerned about seeing him shoot dragon chasing-syrup into his veins that I immediately picked up the phone and dialed the number 800-725-0000. No, that’s not the number for an addiction treatment helpline. That’s the number to The National Enquirer’s ‘dollas 4 tips’ line.”

Just like last time, Macaulay’s lawyers deny all of this and says he has never overdosed.

Meanwhile, Macaulay’s old girlfriend, Mila Kunis, is off in Bali gargling the rotten douche cream that spits out of Ashton Kutcher’s whore dick. Mila, stop being gross, drop the douche and get your bitch ass to NYC to force Macaulay to star in a real-life reboot of Home Alone called Rehab Alone, because this is not the way Kevin McCallister’s story is supposed to go.

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110 responses to “Macaulay Culkin Is Hooked On Heroin, So Says The Enquirer”

  1. suckandfuck says:

    I think he is addicted to dick, I’m sure you can relate, reader of my words.

    ————————————————-
    Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 – 5:47pm.
    suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.

  2. cici says:

    Hope somebody steps in and helps in. Waiting for an addict to quit doesn’t work…God Bless…

  3. Heroic Cupcake says:

    I sincerely hope he finds peace and recovery. He really seems like a special person, and he’s been through some shit. Hope he gets healthy from whatever it is and does some more creative things with his life.

  4. motherslittlehelper says:

    Hope he gets help, and hope his friends put the hard sell on him to get better. This is no time to retreat and just let him be.

  5. swarm-of-locusts says:

    He looked like he was headed for the checkout line in the pics that came out months ago. I know the job is to protect the client, but just once it’d be nice to hear a handler say, “Yup, major shit going on over here.”

    **************************************************
    Taking crazy things seriously is a serious waste of time.”
    — Haruki Murakami

  6. joanne says:

    If true I hope he gets the help he needs. I guess the best thing about not being famous is when you fock up its not plastered in a headline.

  7. Whamo says:

    I don’t know, those eye’s are pretty convincing to me. If they just said Heroin I would say maybe not but oxycodone, Percocet and Vicodin are all opioids so I’m thinking there may be some truth to this.

    If I were to say it on looks alone I’d say hell ya!

  8. Lucifer_Sam says:

    I never sympathise with drug addicts, but I really hope he gets help.

  9. Lurker says:

    Ok, if he doesn’t get his life together and do something NOW, I’m hoping he just hooks up with Blohan. It’s terrible, but they could be the perfect fuck-up former child acting couple ever!

  10. feelsblind says:

    Damn these child stars have it rough when they get older. I feel like the only child star that came through relatively unscathed was Dakota Fanning. I hope he gets the help he needs.

  11. ImpertinentVixen says:

    Sad all that money going down the drain, or into a vein I should say. If true, hopefully he will get some help before it’s too late and he’s not permanently left home alone.

    ·…¸>< ((((º>·´¯`·. ¸.>< ((((º> .·´¯`·..·>< ((((º>
    Visit The Freckle on Lindsay Lohan’s Lip on Facebook.

  12. Athina says:

    And scores of so called friends (code for enabling, self-serving users) will just sit back and enjoy watching his downward spiral. Then, after he’s good and dead, these same friends can score a few bucks off the interviews for gossip rags.

  13. stefystef says:

    So sad. All the kids involved with Michael Jackson have not fared well.
    ______________________________________________________________
    Grow up, Demi, and do coke off toilet seats like the rest of us adults do!- Michael K, 1/26/12

  14. sushi says:

    Maybe he has to shoot up to forget the abuse he likely suffered by a certain revered dead icon.

  15. guest says:

    If this is true….somebody close to him…do something! 🙁

  16. M.E. says:

    Well his parents fucked him over and stole his money, his relationship failed, he’s been rumored to have addiction issues for years, this is not surprising to me.

  17. Heroic Cupcake says:

    Isn’t it disgusting that mila kunis is fucking Asshole kutcher? She’s hot and seems to have a brain in her head AND she’s successful already…I seriously don’t see the point of it unless she’s one of those girls who just can’t get enough douchepeen inside them.

    Still, she should know it cheapens her. AK is every type of disgusting rolled into one idiotic package and sprinkled with anal warts for good measure.

  18. guest says:

    Submitted by Paquita on Wed, 08/01/2012 – 11:59am.

    OMG! Just wanted to use my new avie!

    LUFF it!!!!!!

  19. WithinReason... says:

    That’s really sad for Kevin! I’ve no doubt this is part of the reason Mila left this relationship. Smdh real sad if it’s true.

    “Rehab Alone” – oh that’s cold MK hee hee hee.

    •-•-•-•-•-•
    “CAUTION: Delusion ahead.” MK
    ░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠░░░░

  20. Sweetas says:

    He definitely has that look about him in this and the linked pic. Sad. Get help, MC.

  21. Evil_Cupcake says:

    Off Topic- Gore Vidal has died.

  22. Dirk Diggler says:

    I hope he gets the help he needs before it’s too late.

    Ironic that he played a drug-addict-turned-murderer in Party Monster, without being able apparently to connect the dots in his own life.

  23. Haribo says:

    i didn’t even recognize him ;/ i believe the enquirer this time. there’s no way he’s not using.

    ‘We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.’

  24. Momus the Sarcastic says:

    I sort of agree with The National Enquirer. I believe that it’s meth.

    The Enquirer was right about Whitney Houston.

    ************************************************
    “It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.” J.R.R. Tolkein
    ************************************************

  25. Craigypants says:

    He looks like hell. At least he made it past 27.
    He’s been on the bad shit for years.

  26. NOT IMPRESSED says:

    I’m pretty inclined to believe The Enquirer. Weren’t they the ones who uncovered the John Edwards/Rielle Hunter affair? Anyway, dude doesn’t look healthy AT ALL. If he’s not hooked on heroin, he must be smoking crack or sonething…

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    Douchechill!

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