Hatch The Snatch Is Going Back To Prison

The original Survivor Richard Hatch is currently making the contestants of Celebrity Apprentice blow steam out of every orifice by acting like a bag of chapped assholes, and he’ll soon be surrounded by a bunch of chapped assholes once again! Richard will become the bear of the block on Monday when he turns himself in for refusing to play nice with the IRS. This hairy mound of dumb already served three years in the chokey for not paying taxes on the $1 million he got from winning Survivor. Richard was released on the condition that he file his 2000 and 2001 taxes and start to make payments on the $2 million he owes the IRS. Richard didn’t do any of this, so he’s going back to jail for 9 months.

UsWeekly says that the judge also gave the thumbs up for the IRS to take 25 percent of his gross income for 26 months after he gets out of prison.

NBC says that the live Celebrity Apprentice finale will air on May 22nd with or without Richard. This obviously means that Donald Trump’s parched hair puff shoots a dandruff bullet into Richard’s heart at the end of an upcoming boardroom.

Either Richard must miss hearing criminals shout “Hatch the Snatch” through the prison yard or he really is a bear rug wrapped in stupid. When you owe that much money to the IRS, you either try to run run run like Wesley or you set up on of those lifetime payment plans that never end. You don’t stay in the country while not paying. I swear, I need Sue Hawk to use one of her “snake and rat” analogies about this.