Who Is Gis Bundchen Pissing Off Today?

Gisele Bundchen nearly got a can of Enfamil shoved down her opinion hole when she said in an interview that she believes there should be a worldwide law that forces every single mother to nipplefeed their baby. Gisele later tried to clean that mess up (smells like leche crust, nipple sores and old Similac) by saying she was only speaking for herself. Well, Gis has once again found herself neck deep in a pool of STFU. This time Brazil’s National Cancer Institute is kindly asking the Gwyneth Paltrow of South America to suck on a bottle of Hawaiian Tropic and to keep her mouth closed. The one time Sports Illustrated model and Nivea Sun spokesperson recently said that she’d never put SPF on her skin because it’s toxic shit. The Daily Mail has all the freckled details:

Gisele claims she refuses to use the product because of all the chemicals they contain to absorb UVA and UVB light.

‘I cannot put this poison on my skin,’ the 30-year-old said. ‘I do not use anything synthetic.’

As a compromise, Bundchen claims she only exposes herself to the sun before 8am when it is still too weak to do any damage.

The head of dermatology at the National Cancer Institute of Brazil quickly threw shade (Now she really doesn’t have to put on SPF!) at Gisele by issuing this statement:

“Sunscreen prevents damage to the skin and is of fundamental importance for the prevention of cancer. This is not any poison, when a public person makes a statement like this, it creates confusion.”

This might create confusion if bitches actually took advice from Gis Buttchin. Who takes advice from Gis besides Gis herself? It’s her opinion. It’s not everyone’s fact. When I’m slathering lube with SPF on my nalgas at the nude beach, I don’t ever stop and think, “What would Gisele Bundchen do?”

Gis is just always BLAH BLAH BLAH-ing about everything. If it gets too annoying, just gently pick her up, put her in the corner and let her continue to yap while you take a bath in a tub full of tanning oil.