Why In The Hell Were They There?

This is directly from The Critics’ Choice Movie Awards’ website: “The Critics’ Choice Movie Awards are bestowed annually by the Broadcast Film Critics Association to honor the finest in cinematic achievement.”

Where in that sentence does it say that they also accept raggedy famewhores fresh from the ho stroll as presenters? It doesn’t. So why in the hell were those backyardigan whores there last night? I mean, if that said “anally” instead of “annually” I’d understand why the Kardashians were invited. But the words “honor“, “finest” and “achievement” never apply when it comes to the Kardashians. My only guess is that since Vh1 is like a giant beacon of light for all the fame fuckers in the LOOKATME sea, they all came out. I’m sure Snooki and Teen Mom Amber are sharing a bottle of Thunderbird under Kim’s dress.

I know I included The Lesbeaver in the same category as the Kardashians and Amber Rose, but he actually had a good excuse for being there. Justin completed his journalism credits at the Montessori School by interviewing the nominees on the red carpet last night.

The good news for Justin is that he’s starting to grow pubic hair. The bad news is that it’s growing above his lip. Damn. Damn. Damn. And Rip Taylor was there, because a party just isn’t a party without him.

And Rip was also there to show Justin Bieber what he’s going to look like in 60 years. Lucky Bieber!