Needs More Black Eye Grease

July 28, 2010 / Posted by:

Taylor Momsen, the baddest bitch in a McDonald’s ball pit, has released the cover for her band’s debut album, which comes out in the UK later next month. Doesn’t Taylor actually look her age without half of the contents of an ashtray smothered all over her eye area? No, that’s not Taylor! It’s just a visual representation of her maturity level (MINE TOO!!!).

This cover just confirms that the first thing toddlers learn in school shouldn’t be how to tie their shoes or how to write their name. Who needs to know that? The first thing they should be taught is how to work a lighter. Sometimes when you’re desperately looking for a light, you probably think to yourself: “I really wish that toddler over there was holding a Zippo instead of a Blackberry (toddlers have those now, right?)” That thought was just incepted from Kate Moss’ dreams.

That being said, if the girl on Pretty Reckless’ cover is supposed to be a young version of Taylor Momsen then they went with the wrong choice. I’m not a curator of hardcoreness like Taylor, but they really should’ve gone with this instead:

It’s like you’re staring at one of Taylor’s baby pictures, right? It’s all about the eyes!

And here’s Taylor looking like she should be freebasing a piece of bamboo while performing in Florida the other day.

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