Finally, An Elegant Blouse For All You Refined Ladies Out There

If you’ve been watching the opera known as Jersey Shore, then there’s a good chance that when JWoww sashayed onto the screen wearing a blouse that looked like it was hand sewn by Coco Chanel herself, your nipples looked up at you and quoted Liz Lemon by saying, “I want to go to there.” Well, now they can go there. Tell them to get their shots first!

JWoww (or “JWOAH” if your name is Joey Russo) has launched a fashion line, and the first item up for sale is the infamous scoopy curtain thing she wore on Jersey Shore. As you can tell from the artist’s exquisite rendering, the workmanship is impeccable. If Miss Bimbo was a member of the royal family, she would wear this to every ball.

I will let JWoww’s website explain further. The quotation marks are properly placed:

Jenni has created the ultimate in fashionable clothing. She will be reinventing the term “Sexy Sophisticated.” Not only will her line be “Edgy” and “Sexy“, but it will make people of all ages and body type feel more confident in “the scene.” This exclusive line will be limited and custom made to your body type.

…Remember you don’t want to be that person at the club that see’s someone else wearing the same thing…

Don’t even think of making your own bootleg version of this blouse using an after-sex sheet. It will never have JWoww’s stamp of approval.

And if you want your baby head chichis to look like there’s an imaginary rib spreader between them like JWoww’s, just tell the left one that the right one is talking shit about it. They won’t want to be near each other after that!

Here’s the toast of the Paris fashion scene at a Lakers game last night with her guidette-in-waiting Snooki.