Hailey Out, Rabbi Shmuley In

Jon Grosselin is no longer using Ed Hardy as his full-time spiritual advisor. Instead, Jon is listening to the mouth belonging to Rabbi Shmuley Boteach (but you can call him Rabbi Famewhore). Unfortunately, Rabbi SB has not advised Jon to hide in Balloon Boy’s attic and not come out until we tell him to. But Rabbi SB did tell Jon that he needs to drop his girlfriend Hailey Glassman off at the nearest potted plant and leave her the hell alone. According to Extra, Jon has listened to Rabbi SB and has quit Meth Brows.

Some “insider” (*cough*possumhead*cough*) said, “They’re taking a break. Jon apparently decided he needed to spend some time on his own.” Yeah, on his own in a ditch in Chernobyl.

This is kind of funny since Hailey was on TV the other day queefing about how Jon constantly throws “mantrums,” but she can never leave his ass. Hailey should consider herself lucky since she just dodged a douche bullet. Now she can go back to doing anal with potted plants which sounds much more enjoyable than doing anything with Jon Gosselin.

Rabbi BS (on purpose typo) probably has bigger publicity whoring plans for Jon. Don’t be surprised if Jon changes his name to Jedidiah and starts hanging around with Ashton Kutcher. Does Ed Hardy make Kabbalah bracelets? They will now.