Dancing With La Toya

Ever since Michael Jackson moonwalked off to heaven, La Toya’s vagina has grabbed on to the giant dildo known as fame and hasn’t let go. AND SHE NEVER WILL! Toy Toy is back (insert dick slappy dance or groan here).

UsWeekly says that La Toya might take a break from solving the world’s greatest mysteries to jiggle her bought-and-paid-for chichis on Dancing with the Has-Beens this season. Apparently, the producers offered her a spot on the show and now she’s “in talks.”

Toy Toy’s rep would only said, “She’s a big fan of the show, and being from a musical family, it would be a good fit.”

ABC will announce the entire cast this Monday morning, but it’s rumored that Ceiling Eyes, Vera Wang, Dean McDermott and Lou Ferrigno have either signed on already or are close to signing.

This is going to be good. Let’s take bets on how many “Tributes to MJ” Toy Toy is going to do. Can’t wait to see her tango to “Thriller” and her quick step to “Working Day and Night.”

And if you’re thinking to yourself, “but La Toya isn’t a star,” shut those thoughts up! Of course, Toy Toy is a star! Just look at this video below of her performing at a sold-out concert……at a bar….. in Slovenia. Okay, and it wasn’t really sold out. There were 12 people there….and 3 goats.