What Do You Expect?

Tim Burton is currently shooting “Alice in Wonderland” with Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter. And what’s a Tim Burton movie without Helena Bonham Carter? Of course, he’s cast her ass as The Red Queen. Anne Hathaway will play her sister, The White Queen. That bitch isn’t in the Disney cartoon movie, but is in the novel. Yes, I read that shit! Okay, I read the Cliff Notes version, but that counts.

This is Helena and Johnny’s fourth Burton movie together. They’ve already done “Corpse Bride,” “Charlie and the Shit Factory” and “Sweeney Todd.” This is Helena’s sixth Burton movie and Johnny’s seventh.

It’s obvious that Helena only got the role because she’s sucking the director’s hairy dick, but her acting doesn’t make me fart, so she’s fine. It kind of goes without saying that if you’re bumping it with Tim Burton, you’re going to get cast in all his movies. Remember that tall bitch Lisa Marie? She was in tons of Burton movies and then they sort of broke up. That was a career killer, because what’s she doing now? Exactly.