How To Stay Relevant By Adnan Ghalib

Yes, Adnan Ghalib still exists and he’s still trying way too hard to keep our attention. Adnan claims that he does have a tape of him and Our Lady of Cheetos bumping pork rinds in Mexico when she was going through that whole “I’m batshit crazy and loving it” phase. Adnan is ready and willing to sell the sex tape for the right price.

A source said the tape is 2 hours long and features Brit Brit in that busted pink wig getting it on with Adnan in a hotel room in Mexico. A source claims the 2-hour tape features Brit Brit in her busted pink wig while getting it on with Adnan in a Mexican hotel room. 2 fucking hours?! Please. You know Adnan busts it in 2 strokes or less. The tape is probably just Brit laying on some bed and making out with her bag of Cheetos Torciditos. It probably looks something like this.

Adnan tells Heat Magazine (via The Sun): “There is such a tape, but I won’t discuss prices for hypothetical enquiries. Unless there is a locked-in deal, I will go no further. I am not interested in selling out any other details about Britney. “

He won’t discuss Brit Brit’s private life, but he will show us her fried chicken strips dipped in ranch dressing. That’s nice of him. Adnan needs to give us the goods or go into the corner and play with his man titties while plucking out that hideous pussy strip he calls facial hair.