It’s Come To This

No, this is not a promo picture for Eminem’s next album. It took me a couple of eye blinks before I realized it was the fallen pepaw Ed McMahon. 85-year-old put on one of KFed’s outfits to rap in two viral videos for FreeCreditReport.com. If you look closely at the picture above, you can see Ed’s dignity crawling away. Shit. I shouldn’t have said that. Ed is gangster now. He can bust a catheter in my ass.

FCR asked Ed to star in the videos after they saw him talking about his money problems on Larry King. Ed jumped at the chance, because let’s face it, the bitch needs cash.

The Huffington Post has the sad details on the two videos:

In the first video, McMahon _ who once pitched the American Family Publishing sweepstakes _ and a bodyguard are cruising through a neighborhood looking for sweepstakes winners to ask for some money back, but McMahon doesn’t actually go through with it. In the second spot, McMahon dons a new suit after undergoing a financial and emotional makeover.

“When I retired, I was famous,” McMahon raps in the video. “I had money and glory/I bought a house for 6 mill/I thought nothing could touch me/Until my credit went south, and debt started to crunch me/Next thing I know, instead of playing gin rummy, I was scrambling just to make ends meet/It wasn’t funny.“

You gotta do what you gotta do to pay for your rusty trophy wife’s obsessive shopping habits. And I guess it could be worse, he could be doing pepaw porn. Shit. That’s next.