Why So Distressed?

Sienna Miller was out with that piece of trash Balthazar Getty in London last night and she looked so upset. I recognize that face. It’s the same face I make when I feel like my no-no hole is going to explode for whatever reason. And there’s many reasons why it could. Trust.

You want to cry dry tears, but you’re afraid that even the slightest movement will make you blow like a volcano, so you stand very still. Somebody tell Sienna that she just needs to sing it a Carpenters’ song and pet it to sleep. I would tell her myself, but I’m still mad at that skank. When is she going to wake up and smell the hot jizz? She’s had her fill with Balthazar and now it’s time to move on to bigger and better dicks. And you can’t convince me that Balthazar has a big one. He looks like he has short burrito dick with extra guacamole.