Money and fame: it can make you attractive to anyone. No, no, I’m sure the love shared between 73-year-old American Pie singer Don McLean and his 24-year-old girlfriend Paris Dylan is true and pure… Yes, yes, the scent of “true and pure” also smells like gold. Smells like someone digging for gold. Keep going, Paris, you’ll strike it big eventually.
We already knew about Don and his former-catfish-victim girlfriend, but they confirmed their love. I know, normally you end up with the 73-year-old because of the catfish, not afterward. Don showed he’s still hip to what the young people are into (money!) by posting on Twitter the following:
Don & Paris at the Eiffel Tower pic.twitter.com/kbsckOMUMD
— Don McLean (@donmcleanonline) October 28, 2018
Paris echoed the post to her own Instagram:
It’s unclear how exactly long Don and his granddaughter, I mean girlfriend, have been doing it with help of Viagra and Metamucil-scented lube, but they’ve certainly been doing it long enough for Paris to get a sick travel Instagram page out of it.
Dating an old guy don’t seem too bad now, do it? If there was zero dick sucking involved, I’d consider it.
Paris is really in it to win it, showing you all over Instagram how much she is actually in love with this man who she for sure is sexually attracted to and doesn’t only tolerate because of his generous bank account:
So listen, Don is probably not the love of Paris’ life, but his money probably is. I mean, she even posted a video to her Instagram Story where she’s listening to the song “Gold Digger” (no joke) and captioned it, “I like my men like I like my coffee… rich & smooth”:
I hope this turns out well for Paris. She better hurry up and get hitched to this guy who was almost 20 when the Civil Rights Act happened; don’t want him to up and die on you before you get a slice of the will, or dump you for an even younger piece. Imagine you tolerated getting American Pied from the back all this time just to end up with the memories? Oh girl, get that ring.