I mainly look at Marc Anthony and think of one of Cleopatra’s ancient Roman tricks, his song that made it on one of my NOW CDs from the 90s, and for being the ex-Mr. Jennifer Lopez. But I guess his money man looked at him for the last eight years and thought, “Hello, endless ATM.” Marc’s bookkeeper admitted Monday to stealing over $9 million from Marc between 2009 and 2017, and Marc is apparently so rich that he was just like, “I knew I lost some coins in the couch, but I didn’t know it was that much!”
Page Six says the accountant, Kyle Tessiero, used Marc’s American Express over the years as if he was in a kept broad/sugar daddy relationship. Only Kyle didn’t have daddy’s permission and was blowing millions at fancy strip clubs (y’know…the kind that offer more than chicken skewers at the lunch buffet), restaurants, and on travel. Marc must have just gotten used to spending so much to keep J. Lo happy over the years because he never noticed. Kyle would just use Marc’s bank account, which he had access to, to cover his ass and pay down the AmEx. I tried that once with my boyfriend, but that Hawk Eye can tell if I so much as order unauthorized guacamole on the side with my order at Chipotle.
AmEx flagged a purchase as suspicious, and that caused Kyle to turn himself in because he felt too guilty. I’d really like to know what purchase it was that finally sent AmEx over the edge – perhaps a Hooters charge and AmEx wanted to know why his ass was suddenly slumming it?
Kyle claims he can never pay the sum back, but he did sell a boat and car for restitution of $100,000 as part of a plea deal, which also means he’ll be in prison for anywhere from two to nine years. That’s all fine and dandy, and snaps for Kyle and his delayed guilty conscience, but let’s get to the real matter at hand: what in HELL kind of divorce settlement did he get from J. Lo where $9 million can go walking, and he doesn’t even notice?!