Like she has this entire awards season, Frances McDormand won another Best Actress doorstop last night at the Independent Spirit Awards for playing a fuck-free vengeful mom in the word problematic’s favorite movie of the year Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri. Frances became one of my favorite fashion icons in 2011 when she dressed like an assistant manager at the Gap to the Tonys, and she continued to be the fashion legend that she is at the Independent Spirit Awards by wearing what I’m going to wear while watching the Oscars tonight: pajamas, slippers and “I’ve been in bed for two days and haven’t even looked at a brush” hair . Although, since I’m much more formal than Frances, I’m going to accessorize my pajamas with a stunning Fritos crumbs necklace, a nacho cheese stain brooch and red wine stained lips.
The Independent Spirit Awards are a zillion times shorter than the Oscars (which will end by Tuesday morning if we’re lucky), so my guess is that Frances is going to show up tonight in a pillow strapped to the back of her head and a stunning bed comforter gown (like this). Frances’ pjs and slippers ensemble (which let’s be real, look fancy and probably cost more than my entire wardrobe combined) wasn’t the only good thing she brought to the Spirit Awards. Frances also brought a perfect speech where she gave a shout out to Hot Dog on a Stick, cursed a lot and paid homage to the beautiful poetry of the fuck word.
Frances is probably going to win another Oscar tonight, so I hope she keeps the fingers of the censors busy by give another ode to the poetic fuck word. Or maybe she’ll hand her award over to Saoirse Ronan or Margot Robbie, and not only because of what she said at the SAGs about how the youngins should get some awards too. But also because she’ll be too comfortable in her comforter gown and pillow headdress to get up.