Get ready for an onslaught of Goop.com “How Middle-Aged Brides Can Still Look Virginal – A Vagina Steaming, That’s How!” stories to pop up over the next few months, because Gwyneth Paltrow might by tying the knot again.
E! News reports she and Brad Falchuk are engaged. Brad is part of the Ryan Murphy conglomerate, so he met Goopy when she had that guest stint on Glee back in 2010. There was that whole annoying era of “Are they actually fucking?” before Brad seemed to confirm things by throwing up a photo of Gwyn as his date to the premiere of Scream Queens in 2015. They usually keep it low profile, thought you can normally find Brad sitting in the background looking bored when Gwyneth appears on Derek Blasberg’s Instagram stories, flapping her wings and pretending like she isn’t convulsing anytime he brings up fried food.
One source told Entertainment Tonight that Gwyn has had the rock for a while, and another blabbed to UsWeekly how it wasn’t exactly a shocker those two are getting hitched. Especially since there were all those rumors earlier this year they were ready to go to town at Macy’s on a bridal registry binge. A source tells UsWeekly:
“They both knew it would happen, but it wasn’t a big thing to them because they were both in long marriages before. There wasn’t a rush.”
She apparently flashed the ice at a launch for her Goop skincare line, because a Goop skincare line wasn’t insufferable enough on its own. The Goop divorce with Chris Martin was annoying because Gwyn kinda made it seem as though nobody did divorce like she did. If there’s any silver lining to this whole thing, I can’t wait for that snarky domestic diva Martha Stewart to blog about a totally unrelated Ditch Her At The Altar casserole that is a must-bake this holiday season!