Like Tom Cruise spitting out a reasonable and sane thought, a FoxHol sighting is a rare one that doesn’t happen very often. The rumors about Jamie Foxx wet humping the thetans off of Katie Holmes started in 2013 and a new “sighting” or story about them pops up every now and again. Jamie Foxx has denied the rumors before, but it looks like FoxHol is a thing and they’re just keeping it on the down low. “Jamie’s ass would know a thing or two about the down low,” said every blind item believer.
When we last left FoxHol, they were on a romantic vacation in Mexico. And yesterday, the site Fameolousent posted a picture on Instagram of Katie and Jamie having dinner together in NYC on Sunday night. You can’t really see Jamie’s face in this picture, but it’s obviously him. I’d recognize his signature douche combo of a fedora and gradient lens sunglasses (indoors!) from a mile away. I was about to drag Katie Holmes for wearing a tacky and weird hat at dinner, but then I realized that’s a watermark. My shit eyesight almost did Katie Holmes wrong.
There’s rumor that Katie hasn’t gone public with Jamie because when she quickie divorced Tommy in 2012, she signed a contract promising not to publicly date anyone for 5 years. That alleged promise expires this year. So that little dinner sighting could be FoxHol’s way of slowly inching out of the closet (“I see what you did there,” said the blind item believers, again). If that weird contract really exists and hasn’t completely expired yet, then Katie better hide somewhere no Scientologist will ever go, like a psychologist’s office or a weed shop. Because I’m sure the punishment for violating that contract is that she has to give her soul to Tommy and you know he’s going to collect. Katie, if you hear the clickety-clack sound of Tommy’s cha cha heels of doom coming your way, throw Prozac pills and gay people at him and RUUUUUN.
And here’s Katie working two different pairs of pants on the NYC pap stroll on the same day last week. I am sad that neither of those pants are tight rolled.